Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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