I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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