you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
