Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
