Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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