I want to have your abortion
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
