Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize