Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
