in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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