So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
