I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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