I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
