We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
