32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize