the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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