that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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