gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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