My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
