I need help removing her.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
