Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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