sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
