Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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