you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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