We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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