do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
