I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
