i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
