you win again, gameday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want her autograph on my taint
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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