Who wears a wallet chain?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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