every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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