just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
