i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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