my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
