And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
