I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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