ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
