Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
