It's Friday. Sex?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
