i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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