she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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