I must be too annoying 4 u.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
