how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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