I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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