Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
