Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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