this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
