his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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