i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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