Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
