btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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