You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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