yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
