Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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