I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
