You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
