What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize