you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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