also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
