just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
