'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
