Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
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I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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