My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
