New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
