i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
