We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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