my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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