i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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