i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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