I wish I only lived at night.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
