I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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