just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize