i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
