You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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